Should I get a divorce? I have been married for 4 years and the entire relationship is about my husband. He has a lot of issues. First, he is an alcoholic. I have tried to help him and support him when he says that he is going to stop, but he always starts back drinking. After we were married I found out he cheated on me with this woman who attempted to commit suicide when she found out he was married (which tells me that this was an intimate relationship, not a one night stand like he told me). But I forgave him. He lost a job because of his drinking and began to drink all day every day. During this time I was pregnant. I had to pay all the bills all while I was pregnant. My entire pregnancy was miserable; the only time I was able to enjoy it was on the day of my baby shower. He stayed drunk so much that I had to ask a neighbor if they could help me if I had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night. He ran up a high cell phone bill talking to an ex girlfriend who lived in another state. I had to file for bankruptcy because I could no longer afford the bills on my own. I lost my home that I worked so hard to get before I married him. I could have lost my job because my credit is so dependent on me maintaining a security clearance. I helped him find a good job that offered good benefits and possible advancement. Right before he started the job he got arrested for a DUI. Well, once he actually started the job he was unable to pay any household bills because he had to pay for the lawyer and child support for his other children from a previous relationship. He barely helped me with any of the household bills. We have separated 2 times for short periods of time, but I always feel sorry for him because he says he doesn’t have a place to go. He has hit me before and has pulled a gun on me. He calls me out of my name whenever we get into arguments. He just received about 7000 from school and only gave me 700 for bills. He goes out and buys all this unnecessary stuff, including beer and cigarettes and claims that he is buying things for us. Recently, he quit the good job and says that he is about to start his own business. The job he had paid for his child support and benefits for his other kids. He never helps me buy things for our child. He says that he doesn’t help me with the bills because I don’t tell him what is due. I am a totally different person. I went from a size 8/10 to a size 16. I am always angry I find myself lashing out at people and I know this is because of the situation I PUT MYSELF IN… But why can’t I just file for divorce and get him out of my life. I called the attorney and gave him all of my information, but I haven’t sent him the payment yet. I know that I am not in love with him, but I can’t understand what is holding me back from mailing the payment to start the divorce. I know this is unhealthy. I know this is a lot but can someone outside reading in tell me clearly why I am holding on and what you think I should do. Please help me any good advice.

Technorati Tags: baby shower, bankruptcy, cell phone bill, child support, dui, ex girlfriend, good job, household bills, intimate relationship, lawyer, neighbor, night stand, pregnancy, security clearance, short periods, should i get a divorce, suicide

I am currently being interviewed for a Dept. of Army job but am also going through bankruptcy (in the attorney’s hands waiting to file the case), if offered the job, will I be able to get a security clearance?

I had one granted in 2004 before my credit was bad but left that job in mid-2006 and have since worked in the private sector with no need for a clearance.

Technorati Tags: army, bankruptcy, job, private sector, security clearance

I have three real estate properties that were recently forcelosed on, and I only have a few thousand dollars of credit card debt. I want to file bankruptcy but do not know how it will affect my security clearance in the Navy. What are some of my options?

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, credit card debt, navy, real estate properties, security clearance, thousand dollars

In April I filed Bankruptcy. I quit my job after having a devastating miscarriage and felt like there was no other way for us to survive financially. My husband’s job with the Army requires him to have a security clearance and with already shaky credit we decided it would be best for me to file alone. Most of the debt was in my name anyway, so I filed a Chapter 7 in April. Due to my lawyer’s incompetence it wasn’t discharged till December. We’ve been told that with my husband’s low score and my recent bankruptcy our only option is to wait 12-24 months to apply for a mortgage. This makes sense to me, but I’m hoping there is another option out there. We were foster parents for a time and hope to continue that next fall when my husband returns, but he’s stationed in central Texas where CPS prefers foster parents who own their home. We had established a small business in training and boarding horses and would like to continue that in our own back yard and grow from there.
I’ve contacted the three major credit bureaus to clean up any inaccuracy and I’ve been working at my job for almost a year. Our debt to income ratio is great and despite my bankruptcy my credit score is slightly higher than my husband’s, but still low. I’ve done all of our baking with US Bank in hopes of establishing a relationship with them and I have a low-limit credit card I use for gas and pay off monthly and a secured card I use for business expenses and pay off monthly. So, this is probably much more information than you needed, but it will hopefully be enough to help you answer my question. I would hate to spend another 12-24 months paying 0-800 a month in rent and 0 a month boarding our horses when that could be -30k we’ve paid toward a mortgage.
I understand that all actions have their consequences, but we’re a Christian family and hope that through the right network, education and of course prayer there may be some chance of purchasing our first home so my husband comes home from Iraq feeling accomplished and secure.

Technorati Tags: back yard, bankruptcy, business expenses, chapter 7, consequences, cps, credit score, debt to income ratio, foster parents, horses, inaccuracy, incompetence, lawyer, major credit bureaus, network education, prayer, secured card, security clearance, three major credit bureaus, us bank