I have a relative ("Lou") who is in debt. Lou is in his early 30’s. The debt is more than K. Lou seems depressed, and I believe spends (restaurants, clothes, etc) as an escape from real life. In the past, the family has repaid Lou’s debt without conditions, but every time more debt appears later. This time, the family offered to refinance the debt only if Lou hews to a budget. Lou is resisting the budget since it imposes controls that any adult might resist. Plus, Lou is worried about his life being in too much flux and not being able to guarantee he can live within the budget. The only alternative is for Lou to default on his debt. We don’t really want that because of the long-term implications of bankruptcy. We also worry about pushing Lou "over the edge". There is no drinking or drug problem. There may be a gambling problem. What do we do? Lou refuses to go to counseling.

Technorati Tags: adult, bankruptcy, budget, clothes, counseling, drug problem, gambling problem, quot, restaurants, term implications

My husband and I split up for 2 years. I knew that he was seeing someone while we were apart and it doesn’t bother me because he wanted to get back together and I shut him out. I knew that for one of the years he was gone that he was living with another woman. I recently found out that the woman he was living with is one of his clients (he is a financial advisor). It is one of his top clients, because he cultivated this business relationship with the client when she didn’t have money.

What my husband told me was that during the time we were split up she asked his help with a salary negotiation and they spent a few weeks going through her company’s financials in order to determine an appropriate salary & contract. Those meetings started out at restaurants, but because of limitations he has on gifts he can recieve from clients began taking place at her home. He helped her negotiate a raise from thousand per year to 0 thousand per year and the title of President of her company. He then helped her negotiate some real estate deals, and she went from about to file bankruptcy to having over a million in the bank. During this time they became intimate and she offered him a place to stay once we broke up.

Now that we are back together & have been for over a year…I’m concerned about this relationship with his client. He says that it is purely professional at this point. He is doing an annual review at his office for her and I find myself thinking that this is how it started in the first place.

I’m not comfortable with this. Should I tell him to have her take her business elsewhere?

Technorati Tags: amp, bankruptcy, business relationship, estate deals, money, real estate, restaurants, salary negotiation

I have a relative ("Lou") who is in debt. Lou is in his early 30’s. The debt is more than K. Lou seems depressed, and I believe spends (restaurants, clothes, etc) as an escape from real life. In the past, the family has repaid Lou’s debt without conditions, but every time more debt appears later. This time, the family offered to refinance the debt only if Lou hews to a budget. Lou is resisting the budget since it imposes controls that any adult might resist. Plus, Lou is worried about his life being in too much flux and not being able to guarantee he can live within the budget. The only alternative is for Lou to default on his debt. We don’t really want that because of the long-term implications of bankruptcy. We also worry about pushing Lou "over the edge". There is no drinking or drug problem. There may be a gambling problem. What do we do? Lou refuses to go to counseling.

Technorati Tags: adult, bankruptcy, budget, clothes, counseling, drug problem, gambling problem, quot, restaurants, term implications