I work 40 hrs a week as support for a software company. I work remotely from home. I have been freelancing at night when everyone is asleep and on weekends – this is my second job, my attempt to pay off medical bills, and to move forward on quitting my current job I hate so much. Last week I told my husband I have a big job and I have a 2 week deadline. This job will pay for my son’s Hockey Season which is 0. I told him this several times before taking the job and he told me he was okay with it. One night I decided to work on the project right after dinner and as soon as I went upstairs he wanted to know what I was doing and demanded that I take his laptop and work downstairs. I was a bit put off and did it. Then he went to give my youngest son a bath and demanded that I stop what I was doing to watch my older son do his homework… First of all, my husband never gives my youngest son a bath on his own – I usually do it and rarely tends to my son’s homework. He started yelling at me saying that I need to spend more time with the family.. What??? I’m home all the time with the family.. He’s not!

Keep in mind that he works 50 – 60 hours weeks and sometimes more. When he does work more than usual, I never give him a hard time. I take care of everything at home.

This one time when I asked for his support on my big project – he failed me. I decided to quit this project because of my husband being impossible. I was so angry at him, I could not talk to him. The next day I woke up angry, he was telling me what to do and how to do it… He is usually like this and I just ignore it. I was so pissed, I was super sensitive to every word that was coming out of his mouth. I felt like I was in shackles and I have no rights as a human being. I know this is so exaggerated on my part.. That is my feeling after getting no support from him.

What brought me to the melt down is this. I have a paypal business account and credit card for my business needs. my husband knows this which is a big mistake telling him. That account allows me to send invoices to people so that they can pay me for services. I have been taking the profits and paying for things we need and paying for medical bills. I have gotten about 00 from freelance work so far. Well, my husband keeps on telling me we need to pay for hockey stuff and now My dog’s grooming and vet bills.. This is where I get frustrated.. I have to work to pay for this stuff. I don’t want to incur more debt. He also wants me to file for bankruptcy.. I don’t. That is the easy way out and I feel I can fix this.. He doesn’t agree with me and continues to friggin buy things like he has endless amounts of cash.

I really think he takes advantage of me. Everything we have bought, he had convinced me to put it on my credit card and promised he will pay it back. Every time I go to him on paying back my card, he comes up with excuses and yet he is able to buy shoes, clothes, gadgets, toys for kids, – lunches, etc… Do you see why I’m mad?

And just a couple of days ago I flipped on him because he told me he just bought some Vail Resort stock… I was pissed because when I was trading stocks a year ago and making a profit, he got involved and said this will be a good hobby for the both of us. I immediately disagreed and told him that I want to do this on my own. He has stocks and a retirement fund. I have nothing and would like to try and build a retirement fund and portfolio. He was offended and got mad at me. I gave in and decided to work with him. He told me to buy a stock that I did not agree with and insisted that if I do not buy this stock it would be a big mistake. Well I didn’t want to and we fought over it. I didn’t want to fight with him and bought the stupid stock. A week later it fell 10% and I pulled out. He wanted me to keep it and called it a long term stock… He was so wrong. The little money I did have went to paying for penrose hospital – they had a court order for us to pay for a bill. So I pulled all the money and gave it to them. See why I am mad… Why do I put up with this?

He is another funny thing he did. For a while he was recording Dave Ramsey show. This show has people calling in about their financial problems and he give advice. Well I did watch this show and loved it because if reinforce what I know is true and when I had asked him to watch it with me – he agreed but he thought it was comical and didn’t take the show seriously and stopped recording the show… I am crazy.
He pays for health insurance, car insurance, utility bills, and cable. I pay for mortgage, car, credit cards, daycare, and gas/groceries.

I don’t have anything left when these bills are paid.
Yes, I have talked to him about this and we are trying to work things out. I don’t give up that easily. Divorce is not in my radar. I feel so frustrated and wish I could figure this out. My husband tells me all the time that I need to learn how to relax.. He’s right there. And we balance each other because I am all about being responsible and he likes to have fun.. Well I love to have fun too. I was adventurous before kids and marraige. Now i’m home working all the time. Try to pay the bills.

Technorati Tags: big mistake, business account, credit card, downstairs, hard time, hockey season, homework, laptop, medical bills, melt down, second job, several times, shackles, software company, youngest son

Hello.

I am currently 20 years old, and my father is 49 years old. I find him to be extremely repugnant. He is abusive (emotionally, mentally, and physically). Though, I haven’t received any physical abuse from him in years ever since I was 13 when he attempted to abuse me when I was doing my homework and eventually fought back because his logic was incoherent, he is a repetitive user of mental and emotional abuse. (He blamed me for hacking his computer proclaimed me a computer savant, whom I did not hack.) In the last ten years, he has been compulsively borrowing money from several banks eventually leading up to my family’s current financial situation, which is bankruptcy. He blames us for his mistakes, which I presume, is scapegoating. I’ve noticed that he has chronic narcissistic personality disorder. (If you don’t know what chronic narcissistic personality disorder represents, please do research.) He believes he is always right even when dealt with the reality of the situation, always blames his problems on my mother and I, compulsively threatens me that physical abuse is coming my way if I do not apply for jobs (not knowing that I have already and was unable to be accepted into any), he is lazy and sits in front of the computer everyday after work (internet addiction disorder, IAD), he procrastinates on his office work in the morning and blames his habits on us stating that he is unable to sleep at night when he is the first to sleep but wakes up several times throughout the night and goes to the computer to chat with the women he has been using to cheat on my mother with which lead to the debt and bankruptcy. Every time I use logic against him, he threatens me with statements of upcoming physical abuse and mentally stating that he is sick, holds his heart and head saying that he is going to die of an aneurysm or heart attack or stroke. (My grandmother from his side of the family died of an aneurysm or a stroke while sleeping.) I’ve told him that if he continues to walk down this road, this road of threats of physical abuse, I will call the police and press charges and file a restraining order. Oh, by the way, he isn’t paying rent and hasn’t paid rent in almost a decade and a half and my mom is paying for his debts. Technically speaking, he is considered a deadbeat loser at this point.
My question is do you believe I should detach myself from this bastard? Should I have the police take care of this potentially dangerous situation if he continues to threaten us? Should I press charges? Should I file a restraining order?

P.S. I would like to keep my privacy. Only serious answers please.

Technorati Tags: aneurysm, bankruptcy, banks, borrowing money, coming my way, emotional abuse, financial situation, grandmother, heart attack, homework, internet addiction disorder, last ten years, logic, narcissistic personality disorder, physical abuse, scapegoating, several times, sleep, stroke, work internet

Recently my job has required me to travel much more than ever before. I am overseas about 50% of the time in stretches of four weeks or so. My wife has a full time job in sales and works from home. She works very hard and not just during normal business hours. Sometimes she’s up late at night doing quotes and stuff.

My job is much more stable than hers. I’ve never had to change jobs or been laid off. She’s had quite a bit of change. Three companies in the last two years, once laid off and one went bankrupt. So, what this means is my job provides a lot of stability for us.

We have two daughters in middle school, 7th and 8th grade. They are a lot easier to care for now being older. But, they still have to get help in homework and be driven to music lessons and such.

My boss can’t or won’t tell me how much longer this is going to go on. I think for a year or so. I miss them a lot when I’m gone and I think it can be hard on them having to do without me. Helping with driving the kids around, fixing things, etc.

So, my question is this. How much is this hurting us? Should I try to find another job, put my foot down with the boss and demand an answer? She says that she supports whatever I need to do for my job. She doesn’t say so, but, I know she doesn’t like it. And the girls hate it. I’m not that fond of it either, but, it’s not that bad for me other than missing their company, which I alleviate by calling them a lot.
Thanks Seth. I find that I don’t have as much time as I used to.

Technorati Tags: boss, business hours, full time job, girls, homework, jobs, late at night, music lessons, quotes, seth, stretches, two daughters, what this means

Bankruptcy is the root of all injustice. When someone can finance 0,000 for a house, file bankruptcy, and then continue living in the house scott-free, there’s something wrong with our government.

I’m a FIRM believer than bankruptcy shouldn’t exist. I’d rather receive someone’s detached arm in the mail as compensation for unpaid bills than a government issued judgment against that person, or bankruptcy papers. Because both mean the same thing: you get nothing.

Bankruptcy is truly the most gross example of injustice in the United States and people do it multiple times in their lifetime. Nothing good can come from bankruptcy. What are you thoughts?
By the way, the "injustice" I’m referring to is to the people who have loaned that person money. If you are considered an "unsecured loan", it’s about a 99/100 chance you’ll get absolutely nothing. If you are a "secured loan", in which only home mortgages and car loans can be, you will get your money though it will take forever. Finally, the lawyer who performed the bankruptcy gets 100% of his fee. Where’s the justice in that?

Bob Zoo down the street who loaned John Doe 00 to get a new car, and even had John sign a promissary note now gets absolutely nothing due to the bankruptcy, and is out 00, AND John Doe gets to keep his car.

WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?
slimick, there were no incorrect assumptions. I don’t know what state, country or planet you live on, but here in Arkansas that’s the way it works. I’ve done my homework. I know who gets paid, who doesn’t, and why. Unfortunately your response had nothing to do with anything I was talking about. You just wanted to hear yourself talk about medical issues. Great job there in the relevance category. Not.
And you’re right. I don’t care about Enron. I care about the little guy. The little guy who owes people money and files bankruptcy. Money or an arm. It’s that simple. Or I’m gonna take it out of their ass.
At crazyjes… yawn. Too much to read, too ridiculous. Who cares about what companies do, I’m talking about people vs. people. Never seen Goodfellas. Not a collection agency agent. Just a regular ole Joe Blow who’s been screwed too many times by people, whilest people like you sit there and defend the unjust bankruptcy system that lets them get away with it. I certainly hope someone screws you out of money so you can be on the receiving end of bankrupty. It’s such a nice feeling.

Oh, and as for your hypothetical woman with so many kids who had to file bankrupty, well she should have thought about that before she married the first guy she met in high school, and then quit school to have four kids. Yeah. She did it to herself out of stupidity. I want her money too if she owes it to me. It’s like that. Justice for Justice. Money for Money. None of this, "I charge up stuff and not pay it." Totally unjust. The laws should be changed. People should be shot for this.

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy papers, car loans, firm believer, home mortgages, homework, incorrect assumptions, injustice, john doe, judgment against, mail, medical issues, multiple times, new car, person money, promissary note, relevance, secured loan, unpaid bills, unsecured loan, yawn