There are no Children in our relationship. I recently found out that my wife of 10 years committed adultery with a roommate we had living with us. I want for us to overcome this problem and other smaller problems within our marriage. I already forgave her for her intercession. After I found out about her infidelity, I went to a men’s retreat, and have become a reborn Christian. I have never cheated on my marriage vows and still hold these vows sacred even after all that has happened, I Love my wife and want her back. I have written to her 5 pages of my faults in our marriage, and have asked for forgiveness for my faults. She says that I am forgiven from her lips but her heart says otherwise. I know that I have the biblical right to divorce her, but this is not what I want, I want to work with her in mending our marriage. However, she will not stop taking phone calls from her lover, we have been separated for a month now (not my decision) and I believe that she (although I don’t have proof) living with him. Because she will not talk to me, I don’t even know where she is living. (Don’t judge me here I have my reasons). She insists that she is going to file for divorce… so if the bible says I have the right to divorce her, I can, but this is not what I want. The bible also says that God hates divorce, and to do all things possible to mend the marriage. This is what I want but she does not want any part of it. I have forgiven her, and have treated her with respect as my family has, and she continues to treat us like garbage. So I ask again how do you help an unrepentant adulteress find Gods Light and Love????? Should I divorce her, or should I let her file for the divorce? When do you take off your wedding band, when the vow is broken, or when the divorce is finalized? Since we are not living together at the moment and I have lost everything in my life and yes I do mean everything, my wife, my home, my job, my business, having to declare bankruptcy, and some serious medical problems. I have found that God did not turn his back on me rather I turned my back on him for many years. I am now rediscovering who I am and I am taking steps to better myself. But what do I do about her???????
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