I have a relative ("Lou") who is in debt. Lou is in his early 30’s. The debt is more than K. Lou seems depressed, and I believe spends (restaurants, clothes, etc) as an escape from real life. In the past, the family has repaid Lou’s debt without conditions, but every time more debt appears later. This time, the family offered to refinance the debt only if Lou hews to a budget. Lou is resisting the budget since it imposes controls that any adult might resist. Plus, Lou is worried about his life being in too much flux and not being able to guarantee he can live within the budget. The only alternative is for Lou to default on his debt. We don’t really want that because of the long-term implications of bankruptcy. We also worry about pushing Lou "over the edge". There is no drinking or drug problem. There may be a gambling problem. What do we do? Lou refuses to go to counseling.

Technorati Tags: adult, bankruptcy, budget, clothes, counseling, drug problem, gambling problem, quot, restaurants, term implications

We became engaged and we live together. I broke off the engagement in May 08. He is the nicest guy I’ve even been with. He is good to me and would never hurt me. The negatives are he has a gambling problem 00 a month losses, he is boring, doesnt want to do anything but gamble, he has no other interests. I have to almost beg for attention. The has a terrible time with money and recently filed bankruptcy. In the meantime, when I wasnt even looking, I met another guy by a complete fluke a little over a month ago "online". He makes me laugh and what Ive learned about him I think is my perfect match. I’ve never been a cheat or a liar..but it seems I’m becoming one cause I am talking on the phone with him, texting and chatting online. He is taken by me too…or so he says. He wants to meet. Of course my situation is I live with a man that gave up everything to be with me. He tells me he loves me and he is good to me. How could I do this to him. If I did choose to meet the new man, either we hit it off or dont. If we did …I "know" I will NOT move to another state…and he would be dumb to move here. He has everything there. What the hell is wrong with me. If I stay with the guy I’m with I feel I may be settling. I am unfullfilled and this is why I never went through with marrying him Today again he told me we need to set the date. What would you do. Im not looking for insults just insights. Thanks. I really am a nice person although this makes me out to be a loon. If you have any questions let me know. I appreciate your thoughts.

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, fluke, gambling problem, hell, insights, insults, liar, loon, losses, money, new man, perfect match

I have a relative ("Lou") who is in debt. Lou is in his early 30’s. The debt is more than K. Lou seems depressed, and I believe spends (restaurants, clothes, etc) as an escape from real life. In the past, the family has repaid Lou’s debt without conditions, but every time more debt appears later. This time, the family offered to refinance the debt only if Lou hews to a budget. Lou is resisting the budget since it imposes controls that any adult might resist. Plus, Lou is worried about his life being in too much flux and not being able to guarantee he can live within the budget. The only alternative is for Lou to default on his debt. We don’t really want that because of the long-term implications of bankruptcy. We also worry about pushing Lou "over the edge". There is no drinking or drug problem. There may be a gambling problem. What do we do? Lou refuses to go to counseling.

Technorati Tags: adult, bankruptcy, budget, clothes, counseling, drug problem, gambling problem, quot, restaurants, term implications