Okay, I met a 43 year old divorced father of two and we’ve been sort of seeing each other for the past 3 months. He says he has really fallen for me, so much in fact that he has told me he loves me. The thing is, he moved back in with his parents because of the divorce, but that was over a year ago. He used to have his own business, but the business went bankrupt and he has not worked in awhile (definitely not since I’ve met him). I just am starting to wonder if he even has any motivation to do anything other than trying to hang out with me and talk to me! We hardly see each other because of the living situation and when we do hang out all he talks about is how he misses me, how he likes (and now loves) me so much, etc… I just don’t know if I can be with a man who doesn’t work, lives with his parents and isn’t doing anything about it! He says he’s getting his own place in a couple of weeks, but I am struggling to believe this is true considering he still isn’t working and doesn’t have any savings! I think he is a genuinely good person, but I don’t know if that’s enough. My question is this…is there hope for him? Should I stick it out and see if things change? To me it just seems bad because he has been living this way for so long, it’s like he wants to move, but financially can’t get his stuff together! For being 43, I just expect more I suppose….is this wrong of me? Or, should I hit the road and end this now?? Please, any advice will do!!

My details:
***I am 34 years old (no kids, if that matters) and do have a full time job as well as go to school.
I completely understand Steven’s point and I do give the guy credit for the ambition to try and do something on his own, but in all reality his own business was just himself and a couple of guys he could call on to come help on bigger projects. I’m not trying to downplay it, that’s just the reality. I still admire the ambition, I completely understand the horrible economic situation that’s been going on and I know it is really tough on American’s, whether you have a job or not….I don’t want to come off as not being totally sympathetic to that.

Technorati Tags: ambition, divorce, economic situation, full time job, good person, motivation, own business, parents

Can you file bankruptcy on Attorney Fees?
If you are going through a divorce and have temporary orders that you have adhered to (you owe your spouse no monies and you owe no child support-all paid in full and current) can you file bankruptcy on Attorney Fees? The amount is 00 to spouse attorney and 00 to an independent attorney assigned by the judge. I am in Texas.

Technorati Tags: attorney fees, bankruptcy, child support, divorce, independent attorney, monies

we have had a rough marriage. he has lost his job which caused us to lose our house and file bankruptcy and now we live with our two kids with his dad…… sigh…… now i lost my job of four years and the medical , dental, and life insurance that went with it. i got approved for unemployment….. and the kids are getting approved for insurance so…… why is treating me so bad. He doesn’t say it allowed it’s cause i lost my job…. but that’s when it started.

now he says…… i cant stand to look at you. i can’t stand coming home and hearing the kids scream. Please just leave. I’m through with you….. can u believe he is telling me that he wants a divorce?? I"m usually the one saying that to him. and now that i have no way to support myself with no job he wants to kick me out of his dad’s house….. which is cool…….i’ll go but he says i cant take the kids. and i say i’m not abandoning them.

so what do i do?

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, coming home, dad, divorce, insurance, job, life insurance, marriage, medical dental, unemployment

I have been married almost 3 years. I have 2 children under 2 yrs old. My husband has a pill problem and is a thief. He has stolen my money so many times I have had to file bankruptcy. I can’t have credit cards, a checking account, or anything. My husband always begs me to come back and I do because I love him. Earlier this year, he stole the last 0 I had and bought pills and wrecked my car. We couldn’t even pay the utilities on our house. (well, I couldn’t pay them, my husband doesn’t have a job.) So he moved in with his dad and I moved in with mine. Recently after we moved in with our dads, I found out I was pregnant. My husband got kicked out of his dads house for stealing and being on pills. He had nowhere to go so I let him stay with me to help me with our newborn daughter. Last week he was on pills again and stole some money from my dad and me so my dad kicked him out. Every time this happens he says he is done with the pills and it won’t happen again. I always take him back and this time I said he cannot stay with my dad and I. We have a house that I am still making payments on but since he doesn’t have a job I can’t pay for the house, utilities, and groceries by myself. Thats why I’m living with my dad so my kids will have water and heat. He is now telling me that he is completely done with pills. His mom is going to put him in therapy and he is going to apply for jobs and possibly go to the army. I do love him and that would be fine but I’m afraid I can’t trust him. My parents are begging me to get a divorce. But even if I do I know I will still see him alot because of the kids and that will be hard for me. When we got married I knew he already had 1 kid which was fine but since we got married he found out he has another and next month he is getting a DNA test for another, which that is really hard for me to deal with. I know he didn’t cheat on me. But if he does get a job, all his money will go to child support for these other kids? He has been put in jail more than once for back child support and is also being questioned for some residential break ins. I am afraid if I leave him I won’t find anyone else and if I did find someone else my husband would make it hell for me. I’m sure it sounds like a no brainer I wish I could turn off my feelings but I really do love this guy too much. I just wanted an outside opinion from someone that doesn’t know us. Thanks in advance
I do not have a drug problem, and when he is on drugs I do keep the kids away from him.

Technorati Tags: 3 years, army, bankruptcy, checking account, child support, credit cards, dad, dads, divorce, dna test, groceries, job, jobs, mom, money, newborn daughter, parents, pills, thief, water and heat

I have been pushed around and made fun of my entire life, I had no friends growing up, I was beat up constantly, and my parents were both drunks, so I got beaten at home too. My mother used to put out cigarettes on my head. It got that the school beatings were less then the home beatings so I did not want to go home. The kids in school got together and made an award for me as the most unpopular kid in school when I was in 6th grade. I graduated high school, and my luck never got better,during high school my parents got divorced and blamed the entire thing on me and said I was an accident, and they wish they had never had me. They both put on their item list that neither one of them wanted custody of me.Then I flunked out of college, couldn’t hold a decent job, I still had no friends. and that went on until I was 23 when I met my now wife, and for the first time in my life I was happy, she liked me for me, and she was good to me. A year and a half ago we got married, and she totally changed. She became very abusive and calls me an effen retard, and stupid a@@ all the time, and she hits me with things and smacks me calling me retarded. I had thought about divorce and then we found out that she was pregnant, and the first words out of her mouth were I hope that our kid is not a retard like you, so now I can’t divorce her. We also recently had to file bankruptcy, and I lost my car and my job, and up until recently have been unemployed for the last six months, and we got evicted from our apartment, and had to move back in with my dad. Let me tell you I am 26, and I still feel like a child, I get picked on from both of them, and my mother when I see her, I have no car to get away and no friends to hang out with, I am seriously considering suicide, but I don’t want to leave another child without a father, and I always swore I would try to be a better parent than mine were to me, but I wonder if I can be. I an not happy in my marriage and I would never cheat on my wife, but she doesen’t believe in sexual relations anymore, just to add fuel to the fire. I mean all my life I have never had someone that I could go hang out with who thought I was cool, and when someone tried to talk to me I tried so hard to get them to like me, that they all run away. I cry daily now, and just want to give up, I have no hobbies, I would like to learn how to ride a horse, and at 260lbs, everyplace I tried laughed at me and said I was too fat, I can’t fit in anywhere, and I am typing this as a last resort to see if anyone actually cares, but I don’t feel that I will get any responses

Technorati Tags: apartment, bankruptcy, beatings, child without a father, cigarettes, dad, decent job, divorce, drunks, effen, marriage, parents, six months, suicide, time in my life

I’m in trouble what can I say and the only thing left is to file bankruptcy. I do own a home and I’m current with the payments.I do not want to lose my home.What I make right now is just enough to support myself and my kids. Few years ago my then husband took a second mortgage on another property that we own at that time. After separation we have lost that home and we agree for me to remain in this home now and pay for it which I do. The problem is that things changed. I lost my job , divorce etc and we stop paying that loan. Its about 27.000 dollars. After stop paying the loan was handed to a collection agency. I agree to pay them 100 a month. But is getting harder in harder to go by. Mortgage , food, gas , 2 kids ,etc I can’t make it. I really don’t have any other debt except a 1800 dollars credit card that is still current. I have a part time job now and I don’t know how to make it.The ex husband don’t help. My question is can i file to bankruptcy on my own? I don’t have money to pay a attorney. My credit is ruined already.I need to get out of this without loosing my home. When I did my taxes I paid off some other bills that I had. I don’t want to do this just to get away from my debt, but I don’t see any other option. I make 900 a month.
Thanks
i forgot to say that I live in Illinois

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, credit card, divorce, husband don, money, part time job, second mortgage

I have received a modified loan (yes it actually happened) because I lost income through a divorce. My ex-husband is no longer on title, but is still attached to the mortgage. I want to assume the loan and remove him, but now the bank tells me the modified mortgage is not assumable. My ex has defaulted on all his credit payments because he was sent to jail. I presume when he is released he will file bankruptcy. Can his responsibility for the mortgage be discharged and leave me remaining as the sole responsible entity?

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, credit payments, divorce, mortgage, responsible entity

My ex-best friend has been on my mind for the past 4 years now. Here is a Short version of what happened:

We were best friends for 9 years. We married brothers, so we became sisters and we were a very close group. My husband became Very ill and had to have surgery. He ended up in the hospital in november 2004 and was there until january 2006. he nearly died 5 times from Several complications. anyway, the last day that i saw her in person was the day of his surgery, she and my brother-in-law come to the hospital and when they left she didn’t even give me a hug.

a week before christmas 2004 she called me to tell me they were getting divorced and when i told her my husband was dying she said "that sucks" with no remorse for her friend/brother at all, or me! she immediately moved into a trailer with three guys, got knocked up, and moved to another state. i havent seen her in 4 years! she left us all in shock, my brother-in-law then lost his job, filed bankruptcy, went through the divorce, and was dealing with his brother dying in the hospital.

plus, i stayed with my husband the entire year in the hospital with no way to contact anyone (i didnt even have a cell phone).. and since she moved around i had no way of finding her anyway. she told a mutual friend that i can kiss her *** for not acknowledging her birthday that year!!! my husband was dying and i never got a call or email or even a card or visit! wtf!

then, my husband passed away in december 2007.. my friend told her and i still got no card or email or anything. but on christmas day 2008 she sent me a message on myspace saying "merry christmas"… how am i supposed to take that? i said, "you also" and that was it.

i can’t stop thinking about her and how maybe i am wrong somehow?!?! but She is the one who abandoned Me.. i keep getting these guilty feelings like the divorce may have been hard for her (but i doubt it), it was her choice to do so and it in no way could have been more stressful than what i was going through.

please someone give me advice or what could make me feel better? everyone is telling me to completely let it go. i dont know if i want closure, but im almost certain i dont want her as a friend anymore.. she’s changed Way too much since then, even her religion, friends, clothes, lifestyle.. everything! Should I contact her? help!!

ps: i ALWAYS pick a BEST ANSWER, so someone WILL get 10pts!!!

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, best friend, best friends, brother, cell phone, christmas, christmas day, divorce, email, guilty feelings, job, merry christmas, mutual friend, quot, remorse, shock, three guys, week before christmas

My ex-best friend has been on my mind for the past 4 years now. Here is a Short version of what happened:

We were best friends for 9 years. We married brothers, so we became sisters and we were a very close group. My husband became Very ill and had to have surgery. He ended up in the hospital in november 2004 and was there until january 2006. he nearly died 5 times from Several complications. anyway, the last day that i saw her in person was the day of his surgery, she and my brother-in-law come to the hospital and when they left she didn’t even give me a hug.

a week before christmas 2004 she called me to tell me they were getting divorced and when i told her my husband was dying she said "that sucks" with no remorse for her friend/brother at all, or me! she immediately moved into a trailer with three guys, got knocked up, and moved to another state. i havent seen her in 4 years! she left us all in shock, my brother-in-law then lost his job, filed bankruptcy, went through the divorce, and was dealing with his brother dying in the hospital.

plus, i stayed with my husband the entire year in the hospital with no way to contact anyone (i didnt even have a cell phone).. and since she moved around i had no way of finding her anyway. she told a mutual friend that i can kiss her ass for not acknowledging her birthday that year!!! my husband was dying and i never got a call or email or even a card or visit! wtf!

then, my husband passed away in december 2007.. my friend told her and i still got no card or email or anything. but on christmas day 2008 she sent me a message on myspace saying "merry christmas"… how am i supposed to take that? i said, "you also" and that was it.

i can’t stop thinking about her and how maybe i am wrong somehow?!?! but She is the one who abandoned Me.. i keep getting these guilty feelings like the divorce may have been hard for her (but i doubt it), it was her choice to do so and it in no way could have been more stressful than what i was going through.

please someone give me advice or what could make me feel better? everyone is telling me to completely let it go. i dont know if i want closure, but im almost certain i dont want her as a friend anymore.. she’s changed Way too much since then, even her religion, friends, clothes, lifestyle.. everything! Should I contact her? help!!
ps: i ALWAYS pick a BEST ANSWER, so someone WILL get 10pts!!!

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, best friend, best friends, brother, cell phone, christmas, christmas day, divorce, email, guilty feelings, job, merry christmas, mutual friend, quot, remorse, shock, three guys, week before christmas

I have done everything I can to reduce my spending, and my interest rates (on unsecured debt), yet there are still so many demands on my income that I am still unable to meet my monthly obligations. (My VA Compensation was just "reduced" making my problems even worse). Due to the nature of my current "graveyard employment", I have been experiencing a great deal of trouble finding a second job.

Must Bankruptcy be my only solution? I entered into a Debt Management Program (to have interest reduced), 4 months ago. Until then, I had not even had a "late payment" in over 8 years (no longer the case thanks to the DMP).

I was forced to file Bankruptcy in 1999 (so it is about to be removed from my credit file), due to my divorce and excessive student loan payments.

Now I am about to "start all over again" due to my inability to obtain reasonable interest rates on my debts.

Can anyone suggest alternatives to Bankruptcy?

Technorati Tags: 4 months, 8 years, alternatives to bankruptcy, case thanks, debt management program, debts, divorce, dmp, excessive student, graveyard, interest rates, second job, student loan payments, unsecured debt

My ex-husband went to Auto Finance School while we were married. He was trying to better his opportunities to make more income (didn’t work).He had horrible credit so when he applied for a student loan, he was required to get a co-signer…me!
So since the divorce I filed bankruptcy and included this loan because it turns out it was a private loan that was issued by Sallie Mae. From what I have heard MOST student loans are not dischargable unless you can confirm that the loan was for a non accredited school…I am willing to fight this but I need to know what I am up against. I do not believe this school was accredited. For those who are going to say I shouldnt have co-signed, please save your time…I know the how a contract is enforced. I am a single mom that should not have to carry the burden of his failed responsibly. I handled the financial diaster from my divorce by filing bankruptcy and getting my debt discharged. I am asking if I am correct in fighting the loan based on the accreditation. I am looking for someone who knows bankruptcy law to answer on this subject. Thanks!
I am 90% sure this school is not accredited but I’m not going to take Sallie Mae’s word for it….how to I confirm a school’s accreditation?

Technorati Tags: accreditation, accredited school, auto finance, bankruptcy law, diaster, divorce, filing bankruptcy, finance school, private loan, sallie mae, single mom, student loan, student loans

We will be together 5yrs in October of this year. We have a 3yr old and a 1yr old. I basically married him because I got pregnant and thought it would be the right thing to do. We have NOTHING in common. We constantly fight. He already had us file for bankruptcy (he was 22 @ the time) he was taking out loans and had too many bank accounts (behind my back). He joined the military and now we live across the country from each other. I don’t think I have ever been in love with him, but if I ask for a divorce I think he will start a huge custody battle. To make matters worse I just recently came into contact with one of my ex-husband’s friends. I had feelings for him way back when and they are all coming back. It’s like the timing is always off with this guy. Should I just stay with my husband and forget about the other guy? We get along so well and we actually have things in common and he was the only one that confronted my abusive ex-husband. I’m so confused. Please help.
Its not my exhusband I was thinking about going back to. I hate him with a passion. He hurt me in every way possible. His friend is who I have feelings for. My husband is just a liar and emotionally dead. I’m more of an object to him than a wife. He is emotionally abusive. I never want to get married again. I just want someone who actually cares about me and my children. We deserve that.

Technorati Tags: bank accounts, bankruptcy, custody battle, divorce, exhusband, feelings, liar, loans, love, passion

I am going through a divorce and my ex isn’t paying ANYTHING (rent, car, etc) hes already gotten evicted and I am working on getting my name off that. Both our names are on the car and its out for repossession. My credit score is probably very very low right now. I am still in school and don’t have an income or child support yet, just help from my family. Is it better for me to just file bankruptcy or to try and build my credit back up as it is?

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, child support, credit score, divorce, rent car

My ex filed bankruptcy in Sep 2005, our divorce was finalized in June 2006. During this she filed without my knowledge and my attourney was not aware neither was I. Greentree finance company is the lien holder. I signed the security agreement but not on the loan, she included the house in her bankruptcy. She quick claimed the property over to me so it is in my name. I need advise please help, this in the state of Florida, they are tring to take my house and property. It is a moble home. We went to court on the 6th of April for forclosure, judge gave 120 days for litigation due to the property in my name. Is this legal what my ex wife did???

Technorati Tags: attourney, bankruptcy, divorce, forclosure, greentree finance company, lien holder, litigation, moble home, security agreement

Really wanna file myself it’d save about 0, already went thru the debt counseling and they said I was a lost cause to pay it back due to being a single mom with 3 kids. so obviously if i cant afford my bills i cant afford to hire an attorney in time to save myself from further garnishments. But is filing it myself a good thing?? Most of the debt is from my divorce and since we didnt file while we was married they will fall back on him and not by choice. But maybe they can get their money from him since he does make over twice what I do. I hate to pin it on him but I need to cleanup my act and look ahead for the sake of my kids…anyone with a suggestion please. Need to file Tues!!!!

Technorati Tags: cleanup, debt counseling, divorce, garnishments, money, sake, single mom, suggestion

Where can I find a loan with poor credit rating? I have a loan with a lender, but, it’s at such a high interest rate and need to get my payments cut. Banks don’t want to talk to me. (No Nigerian lenders, please). I’ve tried Prosper (have a current listing), but no bites, yet. I’m already working 2 jobs and do not want to file for bankruptcy. Divorce has put me in dire straits. Is there ANYONE out there that can help? I myself actually prefer online bad credit payday loans lenders but i dont know what site I should do the search. Can you help? Thanks

Technorati Tags: bad credit payday loans, bankruptcy, banks, dire straits, divorce, high interest rate, jobs, lenders, poor credit rating

there is way too much baggage involved. I have been dating this guy for a couple months now and things are great, we get along great and have a connection,although he was married and is now divorced with a 10 yr old daughter so his x will alwaya be around(even though she lives with her new man)and he also had to file bankruptcy after the divorce.So he is also in major debt with a few other bills.now im messed into it,even though im happy when im with him,im nervous about my future with him,should i be? should i leave now?

Technorati Tags: bankruptcy, divorce, new man

My husband and I file for Chapter 7 Bankruptcy last week. Do we have to wait until the bankruptcy is discharged until we can file for divorce? If it’s possible to file for divorce before the bankruptcy is discharged, how long must we wait to file the divorce?

Technorati Tags: chapter 7 bankruptcy, divorce

He filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy with his wife this past fall. While we were married, we bought the car I am driving now, I am the primary borrower, he is the secondary. The title says me OR him and he was not required to sign in order for me to register here (I moved out of state for a year after the divorce then came back). I tried calling my leinholder (Chase) but they won’t refinance and my credit now sucks because I was out of work (right when I moved out of state) due to a broken leg.

I have been making my payments on time (for the last year almost) but am too scared to call Chase and ask them. I realize I should ultimately call a lawyer but figured I could gain some insight here. I have gotten a few notices from his laywer, listing myself along with the rest of his creditors. He owes me nothing – and in our divorce the papers say we were to take the cars we were presently driving, but neither was listed by make/model etc.

Can/will they repo my car? PS – I live in NH.
I was thinking perhaos because his name is also on the loan they’d take it…

Technorati Tags: broken leg, cars, chapter 7 bankruptcy, chase, creditors, divorce, insight, lawyer, laywer, leinholder

The creditor filed judgment against me on my credit for medical bill, that was from my ex -wife. I was being nice and stupid, she was still under my insurance coverage even we were separated, I had no idea where was she, all of sudden there was medical bill on my credit. I filed divorce on the news paper because I couldn’t find her. I am still not able to pay this money, I am thinking about filing bankruptcy… How can I do it?

Technorati Tags: creditor, divorce, filing bankruptcy, insurance, insurance coverage, judgment against, medical bill, money, news paper