Is it in my right to tell my mom to NOT make the decision to go bankrupt?
PLEASE READ THIS DETAIL! I really need advice…
Just today while my mom and I were in the car, we just came from the grocery store and were talking. We talked about how the people on section aid and government aid were able to get SO MUCH food, dress better than us, and even sometimes live better than us. We live in a nice city bungalow home in a nice neighborhood next door to a University, but I’ve noticed that getting groceries every month is a struggle with all the bills that needed to be paid and any other additional thing I might need for school, etc.
My mom has a job that pays quite well per hour, but they tax her A LOT. She is taxed for senior citizens (because in the past her job took out money from the previous employees pension check so now the current workers HAVE to take out money for their wrong doing), taxed for city, state, pension, and the optional dental and doctor insurance (but who wants to live without those necessary things!?). So by the time she receives her first check, it ALL goes to the mortgage bill for the house. Her second check goes to house hold bills (light, gas, water, telephone, cellphone, car, etc.) Leaving us with very little money to live off on. She has tried receiving some kind of government aid to help pay for the gas and light bill, but they said she was making too much money…which isn’t true AT ALL. They’re not looking at how much she’s being taxed and how much she has to pay for bills.
Anyway, my mom got upset and told me, "Once the job lets me go (they are firing her on my birthday because of the ‘financial crisis’) I will blow up my credit card and pay off the house, the car, and some of your college tuition for 2 years. After that, I will file for bankruptcy because I’m tired of doing the right thing, but get nothing for it. I’m always getting screwed over. We have to work REALLY hard to get just what we need when people on section aid and government aid don’t have to work as hard to get what they need or WANT." I explained to her that her credit score was PHENOMENAL and she shouldn’t make that decision because she worked YEARS to have such a great score. But she said she didn’t care. She was tired of it. She said it wasn’t going to affect me in any kind of way so why should I care? …I got really sad and wanted to cry to think that she wanted to give up like that and even think negatively like that, but could you blame her? My mom has always made the right decisions financially. She bought her first house when she was 18 and has NEVER missed a payment on it. We lived there until I turned 12 and moved to another house with a better neighborhood so…i don’t know what’s gotten into her.
What should I do? Is it in my right to tell her to make a better decision? I’m a senior in high school so what can i do?! I don’t want my mom to stoop so low….please, help me. Serious answers, plz. :’(
First off, you cannot pay off a mortgage with a credit card. So tell her to put that thought out of her head. You are not poor, you are house poor. Meaning that too much of your income pays for your house. Now keep in mind that when your mom’s job is gone you may qualify for help.
If you mother is going to lose her job then she needs to consider selling her home, even if it means doing it as a short sale and making no money from it, but at least she won’t owe either.
Other then that you can’t say much to change her mind. She is loosing hope as many others have done. I lost my job in March and have been fighting tooth and nail to keep my home and family’s heads above water.
She has options to try, but claiming bankruptcy isn’t the worst thing in the world you can do so try not to give her to much grief.
June 8th, 2010 at 8:20 pmHustle
June 8th, 2010 at 8:20 pmShe just sounds really frustrated and upset. You can encourage her to look for a new job and tell her that you think filing for bankruptcy is really the wrong choice, but other than that, there isn’t much you can do. She’s your mom, you can’t force her to do anything. Just be supportive and help as much as you can, especially with your college tuition. it’s possible she could just have been upset when she said that and not really intended to do any of that.
June 8th, 2010 at 8:20 pmIf she loads up her credit cards and ATTEMPTS to file bankruptcy, the court will REFUSE her bankruptcy petition. Borrowing money with the INTENT to default is CRIMINAL fraud. Forget about her credit score, this plan could result in PRISON time.
June 8th, 2010 at 8:20 pmI think your mom might have just been having a bad day, or there is way more to the story here as far as what she owes or what she makes than meets the eye. I certainly can understand her frustration, but that is no reason to shoot yourself in the foot.
Also, bankruptcy isn’t as easy to go through as she is thinking. They will go over her finances and what she has charged and if they sense she was preparing for this by using all her available credit, they could deny her claim.
My guess is there is more going on here.
June 8th, 2010 at 8:20 pm